November 8, 2026

Thirty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time Cycle A

Wisdom 6:13-18; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; Matthew 25:1-13

There's an important word in today's Gospel that we don't talk a lot about, at least not in the way that it is used in the parable. But maybe we should spend some time talking about it this morning, since it is a difficult word for some of us here. It is a simple word, just two letters. No. Some of the maiden relatives of the groom tell the others “no” when they ask for some help. Now we spend a lot of time in homilies talking about saying “no” to sin, and a lot of time speaking about saying “yes” to helping those in need, the corporal works of mercy, works of evangelization, and the like. But today, we have a situation where Jesus is praising a group for saying “no” to giving another group something that might help them. There is an important lesson for us today to try to get our hands around, when saying “no” is the right answer, the Christian answer, the answer that will do the most good.

When someone says “no” to a request from another, there are only two possible reasons: they can't do it, and they won't do it. One or both must be true. If one can't give something, really can't, then there is no moral issue involved. One can't give what one doesn't have. I'm not talking about those situations where we say we can't but really mean I can't without inconveniencing myself – that's really a won't. That's just lying to ourselves and others, but lying is a topic for another homily. What we need to discuss today is the many times we can give what the person is asking for, but we choose not to give it, which can present a moral dilemma for those who try to live out their Christian values. Most of us here are blessed to have more than we need in life, and have extra that we can either keep for ourselves or give away to others, but we don't have an infinite amount of money or time to give to all whatever they may ask. So we struggle with when we should give and how much if we do.

In the parable, the wise maidens say “no” because, if they said “yes,” there would not be enough oil for anyone and all would run out. That is to say, there would be no light for the returning groom instead of at least some. Moreover, this parable is ultimately about Jesus teaching his disciples the need for preparedness to meet God and make an accounting of our lives, and so there is also a lesson being taught the unwise virgins – change the way you approach your life; start thinking about what you are doing and how to do it better. If there had been enough oil and the unwise ones had been given it, would they have learned their lesson and had been more prepared in the future? Enabling bad behavior is often worse than helping someone – it just encourages future bad behavior. All the parents here have hopefully said “no” to their kids as a method of teaching them lessons that are important in life.

The gospel of Jesus is a message primarily of saying “yes”: Jesus said “yes” to the cross, Mary said “yes” when she gave her fiat to God, the apostles said “yes” to the call and most of them died for that “yes.” Jesus told us we must never say “no” to someone who asks for forgiveness – a “yes” to forgiveness is mandatory; it's not optional for a Christian. But we must also face other situations where “no” is the right answer, the Christian answer. There are people who are foolish, or are immature, who are selfish, who try to manipulate us. To them we not only can say “no” but for the good of both them and us we must say “no.” Christ asks us to sacrifice ourselves, but only for a greater good. He never asks us to sacrifice for no good purpose. He asks us to forgive as we wish to be forgiven, but he does not ask us to again set ourselves us for for willful mistreatment by those who abuse our generosity and love.

So how do we know when these situations are? We believe in redemption, so we want to believe that this time might be different, but we struggle with this; I know I do. This is why I think we had the first reading today paired with this Gospel. God promises us wisdom as a fruit of following him, a gift of the Holy Spirit from our baptism and confirmation. This gift is not automatic – we must pray that we be given this. I've often said that sometimes in prayer we are so busy talking to God about what we want that we don't shut up and listen to what God has to say to us in reply. God speaks to us in may ways: through Scripture, through our friends and family, through a sense that dwells within us when we quiet our minds and hearts in prayer. If we love the one asking for something from us, if we will the best for that person, then God will help us to answer the question, to know when a “no” is better for that person than a “yes” ever would be. There will always be bullies who ask for what they do not have a right to ask for; there will always be users who can't control themselves and their desires; there will always be foolish people that, as long as they can, refuse to see reality and squander what is given to them. A “yes” to their desires might not be what is best for anyone.

Of course it does not have to be only to other people who habitually ask for things. We all on occasion ask for what we do not really need or what might actually be detrimental for us. We all, no matter how smart, lapse into foolishness, not thinking things through like we should or through sinful motivation such as greed or sloth. We might be the one given the “no” out of love. We don't see it as love at the time – oh no, we don't like it at all – but if we pray for wisdom, God will give it to us, and hopefully we can discern better what we needed, and apply this wisdom to the future. Christ tells us it is OK to say “no” if done out of love, and so we accept it and we grow. As Saint Augustine teaches, “Love and do what you will.” If there is true Christian love involved, we will make, or receive, the correct answers in life.

As we continue with the Liturgy of the Eucharist, may the Body of Christ dwelling in us help us to discern the wisdom that God is trying to bring to our lives. May our “yeses” and “nos” always mean, among the other messages they convey, a Christian message of love. If it does, the answers we give, and the answers we receive, will help us to prepare ourselves for what Christ tells us we must be ready for: “stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour" [Matthew 25:13b NABRE].